Saturday, August 21, 2004

Letourneau to Fualaau: 'Recess Is Over'

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The Corsair doesn't know precisely how the little (air quotes) "relationship" between Mary Kay Letourneau and her young lover, Vili Fualaau, will play itself out, publicly, but it certainly doesn't look like it's going to be another Ron and Nancy Reagan love affair to remember, now, does it?

The Corsair dramatically undoes his belt in order to perform a more thorough public lashing.

For one thing, (The Corsair feels his oats) there is a deep discrepancy as to how each of them perceives their "relationship." Fualaau saw it, as any 14-year old kid would, as a purely sexual conquest of his teacher. End of story. No deep seeded feelings involved. He became sort of an unintended stud overnight, an odd cultural phenomenon, the biggest fish in the little pond of the Seattle suburbs; and his arrogance, all these years later, was on full display in New York just last week -- first on the Today Show, then, later throwing back drinks at Suede, acting demanding, ever the diva, famous merely for having impregnated his teacher. Clearly, Fualaau has developed into a narcissistic asshole; one can only hope that in the fullness of time he gains some modesty. Fat chance, though.

Mary Kay, unfortunately, has her own very distorted vision of what they "are," and what duties he "owes" her because she gave up her own husband and children (they live mortified in hiding in Alaska) and her reputation and freedom for him.

Letourneau appears to believe -- I could be wrong on this, but, more likely, I am not -- that Fualaau will take care of her into her senectitude, that he is grateful, that he's in this for the long haul, that -- somehow -- they will be a family, and he will be faithful, now that she's out of the big house. Fat fucking chance, says I, as the proverbial genie is now out of Fualaau's pants, I mean, bottle; either Letourneau has serious problems drawing a bede on reality -- which I believe, and, quite frankly, am horrified, but not surprised, that someone so damaged could be a public school teacher -- or she is being led on by a kid.

According to that significant cultural artifact, The National Enquirer, things are about to get juicy with a capital J:

"Cradle-robbing sex scandal teacher Mary Kay Letourneau threatened to kill her boy lover when she found out in prison that he was seeing other girls."

The Corsair mouths: On. Like Gray. Poupon.

"An in-depth ENQUIRER investigation has uncovered shocking documents written by the Seattle teacher that reveal her murderous rage.

"'This is not a small-time love crime -- I'll find my way over the fence here and shoot him myself,' Mary Kay rages in a jailhouse letter to Faavae Fualaau, the older brother of her baby-faced Romeo, Vili Fualaau."

The Corsair empties a tall glass of Cutty Sark, and sits mesmerized by the screen.

"'Don't let any foreign ho' b**** in the house. They can't look at and play with our beautiful babies and then think they can ride the (bleep) that created them. 'Enough of that, tell him 'Recess is over.'"

The Corsair rings the end of recess bell, signaling, through Pavlovian conditioning, Fualaau to stop riding "the bitches" and "the ho's".

"The sex-crazed teacher complains to Faavae that she's 'doing time' for Vili and although she doesn't expect him to 'forget he has a penis' there are 'other ways' to get sexual gratification without having intercourse."

The Corsair contemplates the "other ways," and wonders why Letourneau, in the clink, would carry any water with Fualaau. Damn that National Enquirer and their reporting on "other wats.". No they didn't.

Prognosis: Not good. Fualaau milks his fame, possibly gets a reality show or recording contract or at least a magazine layout, gets lots of women as a result, parties in LA and NYC; Letourneau has some sort of breakdown, despondent she seeks revenge against Fualaau for not standing by her after "all she's done for him .."

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