Saturday, December 18, 2004

A Little of the Old In and Out

In: George Bush and Karl Rove. Crunch time for Time Magazine, as they near the final hurdle as to who wins this year's Person of the Year sobriquet, but the President and Karl Rove are virtual locks. The official announcement arrives tomorrow at 8 a.m, just in time for Stephanopoulos' talking heads show.

The PageSixxies report:

"... After saluting 'The American Soldier' last year and 'The Whistle Blowers' in 2002, Time managing editor Jim Kelly was being pressured to pick an individual this year instead of a generic group.

" ... There was some speculation this week that Rove -- who is credited with using the gay-marriage issue to energize the Republican base, resulting in record voter turnouts ? would share the cover with his boss as 'Persons of the Year.'

"'It's a pairing that has a lot of merit,' Kelly said. But in an attempt to keep the suspense going, Kelly hinted he might name bloggers.

"In an interview posted earlier this week on IWantMedia.com, Kelly said he's a fan of blogs and he named his favorites, including Instapundit, PowerLine, and blogs written by Andrew Sullivan and Joshua Marshall."

And, according to Drudgereport:

"TIME MAG EDITORS FOCUS ON BUSH FOR 'PERSON OF THE YEAR'... ANNOUNCEMENT SET FOR SUNDAY MORNING... BUSH [AND ROVE?] ARE ALL 'BUT A LOCK,' TOP MAGAZINE SOURCE TELLS DRUDGE... DEVELOPING ... "

Out: Paris' Colonial Complex, Part II. We have covered the first instance of Paris Hilton's colonial complex, in which the big dum-dum head admitted that she wanted to be "escorted" (whatever that means) by Hugh Grant. The plot thickens, as she names two more Atlantic Alliances she'd like to swish past her revolving man-door, according to The Sun:

"HOTELS heiress Paris Hilton has a crush on Prince William - but claims she is too embarrassed to chat him up.

"Saucy Paris, 23, said: 'I think Prince William is hot. I've seen him, like, at polo matches.' But asked if she has ever spoken to him, she admitted: 'I'm too shy.'

"She claimed Wills, 22, is one of only two men she has wanted but not 'gotten.' The other is film star Jude Law, who dates actress Sienna Miller. She said: 'I think Jude is hot. But he's dating that girl.'

She goes on:

"Paris said she was desperate for a boob job at 16 but her dad banned it. And when she was 18 she changed her mind.

"She said: 'They look deformed. Friends that have them look gross.'"

In: Senator-elect Barack Obama Donates $200-"Large" to Charity. Despite having a second mortgage to pay on a Senator's $158,100 salary, Obama has made a six figure donation to a children's charity. The remainder should eliminate his money worries. According to the Chicago Sun-Times:

"Leveraging his best-selling memoir, Sen.-elect Barack Obama (D-Ill.) is poised to sign a three-book deal landing him a $1.9 million advance.

"The package includes a $200,000 payment for a children's volume that will be donated to charity."

Out: Justin Volpe. Robert Draper's incredible GQ article doesn't acquit Justin Volpe of his monstrous action on that fateful day, but it does make us question if a 30 year sentence was excessive for using a jailhouse plunger to sodomize Abner Louima, then lying about it:

" ... At this moment, (Justin Volpe's father) considers that it's the fourth of May, exactly five years since Justin went on trial for committing one of the most barbarous abuses of authority in the history of modern American law enforcement. He could say a lot on this subject. A lot. For starters, he's not denying that Justin 'lost it,' 'did a terrible thing,' 'suffered a moment of madness,' or however else a loving father chooses to depict his son having rammed a broomstick up the rectum of a handcuffed Haitian immigrant named Abner Louima in the bathroom of a Brooklyn police station. No sane person, including any of the Volpes, would deny that his son deserved to go to prison.

"But c'mon. Thirty years? Without parole? When killers and rapists and pedophiles get half that amount? When mobsters and drug lords walk in exchange for ratting out their friends?"

This is going to be a very controversial and much talked about piece full of human pain and perseverance. Volpe may be scum, but not 30 years worth of parole scum. Maybe 15 year lockup scum. We highly recommend you read the article here and decide for yourself.

In: Dita Von Teese. According to Fashionweekdaily:

"Diane von Furstenberg gave new meaning to the notion of kicking up your heels when she hosted a dinner party, complete with live performance, for her dear friend Christian Louboutin this past Monday night.

"'Diane throws the best dinner parties,' said Cecilia Dean. Guests, including Andr� Leon Talley, Amanda Cutter Brooks, Anh Duong and Antony Todd, all helped themselves to seconds?and for some, thirds?of the spinach salad, eggplant Parmesan and white lasagna.

"... At the end of dinner, guests reclined on cushioned benches, awaiting a very special performance by Dita von Teese. 'I want you to all help me welcome someone to the neighborhood,' von Furstenberg announced via a microphone about Louboutin, whose store just bowed on the corner of Horatio and Washington Streets.

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Above: Sexy jet-set burlesque dancer, Miss von Teese.

"'You see the big shoe?,' she asked, pointing to a life-size single Louboutin shoe, complete with red sole that was flown in from Paris. DVF added, 'Christian has always been fascinated with shoes because he associates them with showgirls and burlesque dancers.'

"And then the performance began. von Teese, in a pair of black satin five-inch Louboutin pumps, noticeably never took them off for more than a moment as she seductively stripped off her garments one by one while she sashayed to the music.

"She frolicked on the life-size Louboutin heel, at one point wrapping her fur stole around body parts that should never see a fur stole?sliding it off eventually to unveil a rhinestone thong and pasties. Brit-export Sarah Bailey mentioned that this wasn?t the first time she was privy to such a performance.

"'I first saw Dita in London at Roland Mourets Burns and Burlesque Night, where she performed in a bath of milk onstage. We were eating haggis myself, in particular, vegetarian haggis,' she elaborated. 'But tonight, it looks like her waist got thinner.'

"In the end, the show-stopping and crowd-pleasing performance brought about cheers and a standing ovation from all those squeezed into the tightly packed room including Julianne Moore and Maggie Gyllenhaal."

Out: SNL. Robert Deniro and Beyonce will be on tonights SNL, you might want to TiVo to see just how many skits they will play with the "interracial joke angle" on this one (how witty).

The Corsair guesses -- oh-- one too many times for his taste. Harvard comedy writers, you know, they kill the best African-American performers on that fucking show. They just don't know how to write for us.

Typical SNL black skit: Oh, ha-ha, all black people are an angry people (Nat X); all black people are gang members ("Tracy Morgan: ... we did a Habeas Corpus on Justice Bader Ginsberg"), which, alas, is a very Harvard-centric way of viewing things (and SNL is considered "counterculture,") truth be told; Ah well, at least they finally got a chick on board, that's progress; and she's cool too.

4 comments:

erin said...

I haven't read the article yet, so I don't know what I think about Volpe's 30 year sentence.

But Mr. Volpe Senior? You're comparing your son's sentence to the sentences of rapists. Like maybe you didn't know that your son actually IS a rapist. I mean, he raped another man with a broom, right?

Just wanted to make sure you know you're son is a rapist.

Ok, bye.

The Corsair said...

well said re: Volpe. Check out the article. It will never exhonerate him, but it does call into question whether he should be doing 20+ more years than what he has already spent as a rapist.

Isome said...

Raping (sodomizing) a person in your custody is worth 30 years. The man was a police officer who was supposed to protect and serve, as such he's held to a high standard of conduct. Even without his profession being an issue, he ripped Louima's sphincter (with the broom handle, plunger or whatever it really was) and a large part of his colon had to be removed.

Serving 30 years is just.

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