Tuesday, January 04, 2005

Did Posh Have Three Boob Jobs?

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Posh and David Beckham, the phenomenally good looking progenitors of Brooklyn, the baby with the mini-Humvee, the celebrity Christening, and the castle, and, his brother, the oft-lauded Romeo, he of the $2,000 a day present opener, whose name was recently pilfered by scraggly New Jersey rocker and Al Gore supporter (Averted Gaze) Jon bon Jovi, are under fire from the very appropriately named Rebecca Loos (rhymes with "Juice").

When not pleasuring wild pigs -- eeew --- on British reality teevee, the aforementioned Loos issues forth-- eew -- on the state of All Things Beckham. According to Ananova:

"Rebecca Loos has reportedly claimed that Victoria Beckham has had three boob jobs."

Quite right (The Corsair rolls up his sleeves), by our counting, the first "boob job" was her unfortunate tour of duty with the lamentable Spice Girls; the second "boob job," a social misdemeanor by any accounting to be sure, involved marrying and "begatting" with a serial adulterer; and the third and most disturbing "boob job" was working with the ubersleazy Damon Dash, who clearly used her to get a foothold into the UK scene.

Anyhoo:

"Loos, who alleges she had an affair with David, says the former Spice Girl told her she had gone under the surgeon's knife three times, as she wasn't pleased with the first two operations.

"Rebecca - who worked as David and Victoria's personal assistant when they first moved to Spain in 2003 - told Britain's Loaded magazine: 'They're fake and that's from the lady herself.
She told me she's had them done three times.

"'She kept changing them as she wasn't happy. At first they were too big, then too small. But she's happy now.'

"Bisexual Rebecca also claimed she would never have a threesome with David and Victoria - because she doesn't find them attractive reports Femalefirst.co.uk."

Here we must interject. We must. Try-sexuality would be far more accurate, accounting for wild pigs, of course. Continue:

She added: 'She's not sexy. I don't fancy him any more. I like a man with better morals.'"

Like wild boar, which "truffle" and such.

"Victoria - who is pregnant with the couple's third child - has always denied having breast implants and puts her ample chest down to a 'good bra.'

"David has always denied cheated on his wife with Rebecca, branded her claims as 'ludicrous.'"

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