That Felliniesque Kentucky Derby



It is truly hard to imagine any media event -- with the possible exception of The Cannes Film Festival (Think: Jean-Paul Sartre strolling the Croisette in a bathing suit in 1947) -- competing, on the showbiz tip, with The Kentucky Derby for sheer decadent Fellinisque madness (Exaggerated cough suggesting feigned detachment). And we're not just talking about the hats, the plunging necklines, and the splendiferous display of fucking C-Listers getting blind drunk South of the Mason-Dixon line (The Corsair gamely pours himself a glass of the black wine of Cahors, elixir of Popes). Spencer Morgan, who arrived late last Wednesday to his lunch at Michael's with our pal Michael Gross was "on-time" -- as they say -- for The Derby, writing for the salmon-colored weekly:

"Mrs. (Cyb Barnstable Brown’s) eyes seemed to glaze over. “The Derby is an international event,” she said.

Adorning her arm was Mr. Birkhead, a native Louisvillian. Four years ago, at this very party, he had met Anna Nicole Smith.

"'It’s kind of weird to be back at this party,' he said. 'Kind of full circle.'

"He said their child Daniel-Lynn was 'doing great. She’s teething. Everything’s great. She got a Derby outfit with a pink hat. It’s great.'"

Great. Not to be outdone, DJ AM, Star Jones, "big gay Al Reynolds", Tara Connor and Vanessa Minnilio -- collectively the bottom of the show-biz food chain -- also get positively C-List Felliniesque:

"The party happening just down the street was trying hard to be all New York. Stereo, the hipster nightclub with its main incarnation on New York's West 29th Street, had set up an outpost in the V.I.P. section of the Louisville nightclub, Felt.

"Inside—it was around 2 a.m.—Star Jones, clad in a black mini-skirt was getting freaky with her husband Al Reynolds, as Adam 'DJ AM' Goldberg burned up the turntables. Mr. Reynolds was gyrating up against Mrs. Jones’ backside, his hand positioned oddly on top of her head, while hers clutched the back of his thigh.

"Nearby Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo shared a table with fallen Miss America Tara Connor.

"'Did you hear?' gushed a reveler. 'Vanessa just tried to have Tara Connor removed from their table. Ha!'"

All those boldfaced C-Listers reminded us of a bad "Hollywood Squares" -- was there ever a good "Hollywood Squares" -- episode. (Observer)